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The Pro's and Con's of Being the Doctor's Assistant

By Jessica Smiler

So many companions have jumped at the opportunity of travelling with the Doctor, yet they have not stopped to fully weigh up the benefits against the risks of their venture - so I have done it for them!

1No school or job.Huge life insurance rates.
290% more effective than Blind Date.Amorous and/or ugly aliens wishing to marry you.
3Escape from inconvenient situations, i.e. world being taken over, large telephone bills, etc.Large amounts of running away from inconvenient situations, screaming and ankle twisting involved.
4Make hundreds of very brief acquaintances and friends.Frequent traps set by enemies whose life-spans are usually longer than that of your brief acquaintances.
5Save the Universe!No accident compensation.
6Exercise for vocal cords.Possibility of being betrayed by your brief acquaintances.
7Cheap accommodation.Chance of being stranded on strange planets or time zones.
8The TARDIS wardrobe.The Doctor's dress sense.

Now, is it truly worth it to be the Doctor's assistant? Vworp! Vworp!

This item appeared in TSV 22 (April 1991).