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The Space Museum

A Collection of Doctor Who Oddities

Compiled by Paul Scoones

[Spaceways]

From Spaceways - An Anthology of Space Poems edited by John Foster (1986). Note the identity of one of the people looking up at the sky.
(submitted by Jessica Smiler)

[Rip It Up]

From Rip it Up magazine, September 1992.
(submitted by Graham Howard)

[Max Media]

Max Media is a regular weekly cartoon strip by Chris Knox in Friday's NZ Herald 'Entertainment' section. These panels come from the 8/1/93 edition. See if you can spot the reference to Doctor Who...
(submitted by Jon Preddle)

[Tardis Motors]

Tardis Motors actually exists - it is located at 3 Bentinck St, New Lynn, Auckland.
(submitted by Matthew Akersten)

The Fabulous Singlettes, a TV show screened at 10.l5pm on TV1, Christmas Day 1992, contained the line: "Wow, does Doctor Who's fancy woman live here?" apparently in reference to the large ladies lavatory behind a cafe.
(submitted by David Ronayne)

The song 'Nothing to hold me' by Jesus Jones on their album Doubt has what appears to be the TARDIS dematerialisation sound at the beginning of the song, and the same sound effect also appears later on the same track.
(submitted by Fleur Hardman)

Outrageous British comedian Julian Clary's recent NZ tour featured a sketch in which a man and a woman from the audience participated in a short piece of drama. The topic was Doctor Who - Clary played the Doctor, the woman was his companion, and the man was the Dalek, dressed in a cylindrical 'skirt' covered in large spots, a cycle-helmet with a make-shift eyestalk, and to complete the effect, he had to hold a sink-plunger and an egg whisk! The story started with the TARDIS landing in a place where there is absolutely no life ('New Plymouth!' declared Clary, much to the audience's delight). The companion had to distract the menacing Dalek by stroking its eye- stalk - which pleases it no end!
(submitted by Jon Preddle)

Club International is a British 'adults-only' glossy magazine. Vol.12 No.8, 1992 featured a supposedly humorous story called 'Orgy Porgy' which had the magazine's regular character Nathaniel Fatbastard travelling back to Ancient Rome in the FARTDIS ('F**king About with Relative Time Density In Space'), with his 'Dr Who-like assistant' Kimberly. Upon arrival, the FARTDIS assumes the outward appearance of a brothel. The rest of the story was devoid of any Doctor Who references.
(submitted by Reginald B)

[Bleep!]

Excerpt from from Whoopee Comic (issue unknown).
(submitted by Adrian Humphris)

[Mary Whitehouse]

[Mary Whitehouse]

Oink is (or was) a British comic magazine. The two cartoons reproduced here come from the sci-fi special issue. 'Mary Lighthouse' is of course a thinly veiled dig at Mary Whitehouse, whose complaints about television standards have often plagued Doctor Who.
(submitted by Adrian Humphris)

From the disk's point of view, the S.E.P. never changed. It sees the universe as it always did, although now it exists solely in the quantum field. And that means it has a few extra dimensions of movement. That means anywhere in space, and anywhen in time. Since it exists as a probabilistic construct its existence is equally probable anywhere in the universe at the same time or anywhen in the universe in the same place. Shades of Doctor Who!

From The Anti-Gravity Handbook, page 42, compiled by D. Hatcher Childress (1985). It describes, amongst other things, how to build a flying saucer, how to convert it into a time machine and how the Philadelphia project worked.
(submitted by Alden Bates)

He would never have admitted it to anyone, but he liked the way it looked: a bright blue plastic case, with all the letters of the alphabet laid out in rows under a small screen. Press letters, and they would appear in lit-up green on the screen, spelling the words that the funny, Dalek-like voice told you to spell. You could choose a program (easy-to-difficult) and if you pressed all the right letters, the robot-voice encouraged you.

From the short story Wordfinder by Adele Geras, which appeared in the book Twisted Circuits: Hi-tech Tales from Tomorrow, edited by Mick Gowar (1987)
(submitted by Jessica Smiler)

[Dalek!]

A blast from the distant past! This is an advertisement which appeared in The Illustrated London News Christmas Number of December 1967, and is a plea for readers to donate to a charity called 'Shaftesbury Homes & 'Arethusa' Training Ship'.
(submitted by Joan Fletcher)

In the Mobil Masterpiece Theatre TV play Prince about a man and his obsession with his Alsatian dog, in the background of one scene featuring the family together, the Doctor Who theme music can be heard from the television in the corner.
(submitted by Fleur Hardman)

[Close up of five photos on a wall, of men with 1960s style hair cuts. Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry are looking at the photos on the wall, with their backs to us]
Hugh: Weird isn't it? I mean, where do they find these people?
Stephen: I know...
Hugh: I mean, nobody has actually come out of a barber's shop looking like that.
Stephen: Hm.
Hugh: Oh well, anyway...
[Stephen and Hugh turn around to face the camera - we can now see that they are also sporting bad haircuts like those in the photos. They sit down on the sofa...]
Hugh: Ah, now ladies and gentlemen... mystery objects. I wonder how many of you can guess what this is... [Hugh holds up a plastic detergent bottle] er, any ideas, Stephen?
Stephen: Er, no, not really... er...
Hugh: No?
Stephen: Unless... ah! Are we going back to 1974?
Hugh: 1974, that's absolutely right. Yes. Erm, ladies and gentlemen, this was one of the stars of an episode of Doctor Who, way back in 1974. This is one of the Wondarks from the Watay galaxy.
Stephen: Er... well, it was the Wondark spaceship, wasn't it, 'cos the...
Hugh: That's right, it was the spaceship, I'm sorry, yes...
Stephen: The Wondarks were played by packets of silk cut -
Hugh: That's right, yes, yes. Anyway, I don't know if we can get a camera in really close here, can we have a look at this? [Camera close up: we can see that it is just a plain detergent bottle with the words 'SQEZY' and '50% extra free' visible]
Hugh: I don't know if you can see that, but this is actually made out of an old Sqezy bottle... um, I know it sort of gives away the illusion a bit, but it's amazing what they can do isn't it really...
Stephen: They can create an alien world...
Hugh: All for the price of a crap haircut...

Sketch transcribed from an episode of A Bit of Fry and Laurie, seen in NZ on Saturday, 13 February at 10.30 pm on TV2.
(submitted by Jennie Rorks)

... You can forget paranoia on that one, Dickie - two opponents, the Time Lords and Scene Changers... and both of them after you as well as each other. You have a charmed life, son - born to be hanged."
"What do you mean? - Time Lords and Scene Changers? And why me?"
"May not be their own names for themselves. The Lords and the Changers are groups doing the sort of thing the circle does... but we don't see eye to eye with them. Dickie, you don't think that in all the Universes to the number of the beast or more, we of the Circle would be the only ones to catch on to the truth and attempt to do something about it, do you?"

The above excerpt comes from The Cat Who Walks Through Walls: A Comedy of Manners, page 361, by Robert A. Heinlein (1985). The Circle is an organisation of time travellers from many different dimensions/universes. One member has visited both Oz and Wonderland, so perhaps the Doctor Who universe is being referred to.
(submitted by Alden Bates)

In The Goodies episode U-Friend or UFO? (first broadcast in the UK 4 February 1980), which is a parody of Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Star Wars, Graeme asks, 'How can we communicate with these aliens?' R2D2 glides forward, sporting a sink plunger sticking out of his head, and says 'Exterminate! Kill the humans!' in a Dalek-like voice.
(submitted by Alden Bates)

[Behind you!]

From a cartoon called 'How to be an Adventurer (A short guide)' by Robert Dene, in Warlock Fighting Fantasy Magazine No 4, 1985. (Jeff Stone)

Jennifer: It's quite nice, this room, isn't it? - it's quite comfy, I was thinking - it's a bit like the Tardis, actually, because it's sort of bigger than you think from the outside.
Amanda: Oh, shut up, will you, Jennifer - and don't get used to this - this is just a treat while Shelley's on safari in the living room.

This is an excerpt from Girls on Top, a British TV comedy starring French and Saunders. The quote appeared in the book Didn't You Kill My Mother-In-Law?: The Story of Alternative Comedy in Britain from the Comedy Store to Saturday Live, by Roger Wilmut & Peter Rosengard (1989).
(submitted by Jessica Smiler)

[Mickey Mouse]

Excerpt from a Walt Disney comic called Goofy Adventures No.1, June 1990. The segment comes from a story called Goofy Frankenstein in which Mickey Mouse comes to visit Doctor Frankenstein, played by Goofy.
(submitted by Leigh Hendry)

This item appeared in TSV 33 (April 1993).

Index nodes: The Space Museum