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What's Really Inside A Mechanoid

By Alden Bates

Mechanoids first appeared in The Chase and didn't appear again which is a great pity as they were quite good. The reason that they didn't return is not that they took up too much room; it was because they left little puddles behind them. Anyway, Mechanoids are wholly robot, so no Dalek mutants here.


1. Dalek mutant
OK, so I lied. The explanation is simple: They are hybrid Mechanoids. How they became hybrid is too disgusting to consider.

2. Umbrella
Well, it doesn't want to get wet, does it?

3. Nationality Indicator
As you can clearly see here, Mechanoid was dispatched from Australia, hence the corks.

4. Main computer
A modified dishwasher computer. It actually works too.

5. Bread Toaster
That's what the flame thrower was actually used for before they found it worked well on Daleks too.

6. Main power source
A nine volt battery.

7. The tweezer arms
Used to operate instruments, interface with each other and remove splinters.

8. Remote control
Used to open doors, operate the lift and change channels on the TV set.

9. Voice Translation Device
There are many non-human races in the Federation. Hence, this device doesn't work, primarily to annoy hell out of the other life forms.

10. Transmitter
Interfaces with the city central computer. This ensures maximum confusion in combat situations.

11. The Motive Unit
A ball bearing.

This item appeared in TSV 35 (September 1993).